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war is real

unconcerned, uncompromised and unconvoluted letters from a soldier getting ready to face war for the second time. 

Thursday, March 10, 2005

2:28 PM - HIGH SPEED SHITBAGS

i fucking hate waking up at five in the morning. there's no way that anyone can expect you to be high speed at that time of the day. it's not even civilized.

for those wondering, here's a little lesson on some army lingo.

high speed is what we say when soldiers spend what little personal time they get shining boots every day, take their bdu's to the cleaners and spend $30 a week getting them pressed, and kiss just enough ass of the people above them to get noticed.

shitbags are the guys who either a) don't care about looking good or b) realize that there's more important things in life than shining boots and better places to spend your money than the local cleaners. they also tend to not give a fuck about kissing ass. of course, they could also be real slobs who should have never been soldiers in the first place, but all of these people are grouped together under one title.

it's possible to be high speed one day and a shitbag the next. when i was a lower enlisted guy, i varied between the two on a regular basis, depending upon the mood of my squad leader and platoon sergeant. i usually put forth the effort to shine boots simply because i'm bored at night with nothing else to do but drink, and mostly because doing so will avoid any useless conversations i might not want to have at five in the morning. i also take my bdu's to the cleaners because i'm too lazy to spend the time ironing and pressing them myself when i could be doing other things, like drinking or shining my boots.

today, i'm probably a mix of both. a high speed shitbag, if you will. my uniform looks good, my haircut looks good, and i didn't talk to anyone above me this morning, thus avoiding the chance to kiss ass and make myself look good. i tend to try and get a feel for how my soldiers are doing in the morning, anyway. others may not care, but i care about morale, and the absolute worst time for any soldier (ask anyone) is before PT formation in the morning. you're tired, you got no sleep the night before, and all you want to do is be left alone to dread the workday by yourself. i'm also a shitbag today (at least in someone else's eyes) because i drew division trash duty today. basically, you start in the morning at nine and walk from a certain area to another, picking up trash along the way. this duty happens every day, and we rotate between nco's to take care of the job. today happens to be my day, and we finished in roughly two hours. we were released for the day (division sergeant major's policy), which meant we could go home, take care of important business, and generally use the day to rest and get shit taken care of. a good soldier (at least in someone else's eyes) would probably say fuck it and go back to work, which would mean sitting around in the motorpool or raking leaves or something like that. but hey, i'm not the type to turn down a half day off, especially when it means i can get stuff done that never seems to get done, like mowing the grass or washing clothes. you know, the non-important stuff. i'm also taking the chance to crack open a fine pinot grigio i picked up a few days back and enjoy it, so i guess that makes me a shitbag.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the term shitbag.  


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