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war is real

unconcerned, uncompromised and unconvoluted letters from a soldier getting ready to face war for the second time. 

Friday, June 10, 2005

11:17 PM -

It was an entirely crazy week, and I wasn't even the one going loco.

Monday saw an attempted suicide by someone who we never would have expected to do such a thing. Tuesday saw a soldier go AWOL who, before that moment, we never would have expected to do such a thing. Wednesday saw a soldier get arrested for drunk driving and thrown in County, and I can't say we were really all that surprised.

And they call ME the crazy one. Shit, I seem half normal compared to some of these cats.

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Saturday, June 04, 2005

5:36 AM - Ugh

So i picked up an iPod Shuffle yesterday in preparation for the upcoming deployment. Having personal entertainment devices such as mp3 players, game boys and books is an absolute must, and I didn't want to take my 40gig iPod Photo over there because, well, moving parts and sand don't really mix well together. Come to think of it, NOTHING and sand mixes well together.

I got pretty shitfaced last night. A couple of us went out with a buddy who just got married, and we ended up at a place where Happy Hour lasts until ten at night. Not good. I had six Mind Erasers and I was completely done at that point, but then we ended up going back to his house and drinking Disarono, Pina Coladas, and vodka shots. It's now seven in the morning and I have a splitting headache, not to mention a two hour drive ahead of me.

Eureka. Someday I'll learn that the alchohol is bad.

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Thursday, June 02, 2005

7:10 PM - Dreams And Promotions

Nothing new on the early deployment front. In all honesty, it's probably just rumors, but I even heard it from a 1LT that works in S1, and they would probably know better than anyone about what our current agenda is. So yeah, nothing new, but nothing different, either.

Tomorrow, thankfully, is our last day of work. It's only half a day for me, however, as I'll be headed to my PTSD therapy group and talking for three hours about things I don't really want to talk about with a huge group of people. Supposedly it helps, but I haven't seen any proof of that. Most of that time, things just dissolve into a war stories-fest, with everyone trying to outdo the other people. It doesn't seem like that would be appropriate, but there's some kind of inferiority complex in the military where you always have to be one up on the other guy, even when it involves things like your friends dying.

Since I stopped taking Ambien, my dreams have not only returned, but have become increasingly realistic. And I'm not even talking about bloody, violent dreams -- I'm simply talking about dreams about cars, girls, my family, etcetera. It's really nice, even though a lot of times I wake up wishing I was still asleep. And I've also had a problem lately with sleeping through my alarm, which is a good thing, I guess, except I get in trouble when I show up late. I overslept by three hours this morning. THAT needs to stop.

In other news, I'm getting sent to the promotion board in a few months. Yes, yours truly will be promotable to Sergeant, which is crazy.

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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

8:17 PM - Leaving On A Jetplane? Or A Boat?

So, if I disappear from here for three weeks to a month and there's absolutely no posting going on, then you'll know we've been deployed months ahead of our scheduled departure date. Nothing confirmed or anything, but there's some pretty credible rumors flying around about a post-NTC leave date, which means we'd be leaving FIVE MONTHS ahead of schedule. Yeah, not too excited about this.

I've gone five days without medication, and I'm actually feeling clearheaded. Last night, I had the first dream in a long time that wasn't about dead soldiers and flying rockets, so I guess that's a good start. I love not taking Ambien -- I'm actually about to remember things for the first time in a long time -- and so I think I'll keep not taking it. If that makes sense at all, then you're a better person than me. I'm sure the Major will have issues with me deciding not to take my medication, but the only way I'm putting that shit down my gullet again is if they get the MP's to hold me down and force it down my throat. And even then, I'll throw it up.

By the way, for anyone who is interested, the full Coldplay album finally leaked to the internet today. And don't talk to me about illegal downloading, because I've had the album pre-ordered for a month and I'll probably be buying several more copies for friends. Yes, I've heard it and it is fucking amazing and beautiful and incredible and a million other adjectives that I would use to describe it if given proper space.

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