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war is real

unconcerned, uncompromised and unconvoluted letters from a soldier getting ready to face war for the second time. 

Saturday, October 08, 2005

7:42 PM - I'll Keep Posting

So I think I'm going to keep on writing. I miss the therapy that comes with writing my thoughts down on paper, and I kinda miss the interaction that comes when people actually read this thing and give me their own thoughts.

A quick updated on what I've been up to:

- I've been off Zoloft and Ambien for two months and I wish I could say that life was all peachy but the reality of the situation is that life is pretty hard without the drugs. I'm determined to suck it up and see things through as clean as I can but I'd be lying if I said that the Army doesn't make me want to shoot myself in the face sometimes. I am enjoying being able to see things clearly, but that also means that every little thing the Army does that I disagree with annoys the living shit out of me.

- If you don't have My War (Colby's book) yet, fucking get up from the computer and go to your local bookstore and buy the fucking thing. I'm only in Part Two and it's fucking engrossing reading, the kind of reading that you just can't seem to stop no matter how tired you are of looking at the paper. It's awesome and you must have it, especially if you are a frequent reader of these blogs, and I'd reckon you probably are if you're still visiting my blog after me going three months without posting anything.

Blogger Watch 'n Wait said...

Still here and glad you are too. Check for an email...  

Anonymous Mitzy said...

I just found your blog and have read most of your posts. There are no words to describe the gratitude that I have for your service and sacrifice. A mere thank you is insufficient. It takes a special person to volunteer to be a soldier;)

I am sssoooo glad that you decided to stop your medication. I have been a nurse for more than 15 years. I can tell you that, while western medicine has done some wonderful things, it is also woefully lacking. For too many complaints, the doc's usual response is always the same - a Rx. But then you know that. I have had issues with intense stress myself - enough that it is really affecting my health. All I get from the doc is multiple Rxs. No more, no less. I have never filled them because I was so concerned about the side effects. The lady that wrote about the accupuncture has a valid point. (you've heard this suggestion twice now!) I have read numerous articles that state that accupuncture is a very effective therapy for stress, even if the stress is severe. I have decided to try it myself, despite the fact that I don't want to look like a voodoo doll:) But, has to be better than drugs. I know how you guys usually are about needles, but it can't be worse than what you are feeling now. Read about it - get informed - find an office with a really good reputation and ask questions. Then, make a decision. But you have to do something. Papa Ray (did I get that right?) sounds like he has good advice. Learn from his mistakes. Take really good, constructive care of your self. You deseve it.

By the way, have you seen the anysoldier.com web site? If not, take a look and consider signing up once you get back to the sand box. It sounds like it is a tremendous help to all who sign up.

Keep writing, and take care.  

Anonymous Janie said...

Finished reading MY WAR and I was pleased with Colby's writing. For what ever reason, I thought it was going to harsher. I liked what he wrote and how he wrote the book.

I also got Jason Hartley's book...and now I'm going to read that. I do like that "bad boy" Jason.

Glad you are gonna keep writing. Things may change down the line, but for now - go for it.  

Blogger southerngirlpls said...

Hey, popped back over to check and see if you had decided to keep posting. Glad to see you did. Also check out www.soldiersangels.com for support. We have an awesome group that adopts soldiers and I can guaratee that they all, truely are angels who admire and respect the job that you are doing. (I'm one to about 10 soldiers right now). And I'm gonna have to go find that book...I could use a good read. Take care!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see you're blogging again, and happy to hear you plan to continue.

I wanted to put in my two cents about the meds. I know you're determined to stay off the meds and you've got lots of people supporting you in that decision. And obviously it's your decision and you need to do what's best for you. But in defense of meds - I've been on Lexapro for a year now and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I had mild side effects for a couple of weeks but none since. Every drug is different for everyone, but I wanted to let you know that sometimes they work well. So if you decide to give them another shot, you may find one that really does help. I'm not in the service so I'm not dealing with nearly the same type of situation you are, but I was suffering from depression and now I feel pretty good. I still cry about sad things and still feel joy when appropriate, but I don't feel depressed all the time.

By all means, do whatever you feel is best for you. I just wanted you to hear another perspective.  

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