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war is real

unconcerned, uncompromised and unconvoluted letters from a soldier getting ready to face war for the second time. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

8:56 PM - okay, i give up

this is why i took zoloft, because it helps me let shit slide off of me. things don't bother me as much when i'm medicated, and life is better. of course, it's all fake, which is why i'm choosing to sit here and write about what's going on instead of taking my meds and sleeping the misery away.

so last time i was in iraq i kept this blog. we won't name it, because that would be foolish of me. anyway, the blog got some attention, good attention, but it also got the wrong kinds of attention. i went through some very arduous meetings with people who normally would have gone through their entire army careers without ever knowing my name or coming into personal contact with me. you know the type, and i don't have to tell you what i mean. enlisted don't mix with officers. they're better than us, they get paid more than us, and therefore they must be smarter than us. which is why all those meetings happened, because these people were wondering why i could write the way i could, and why, if i have a college degree, was i enlisted?

well, it was none of their fucking business to begin with, so let's get that out of the way.

so i had these meetings, meetings where they told me what i could and couldn't say anymore. nevermind the fact that the press i recieved was good press and it cast our unit in an extreme positive light. i wanted to highlight some of the good we'd done over there in spite of the things i'd seen, because i knew the army would get me help eventually and i was tired of reading stupid ass reporters and stupid ass bloggers who commented on the war without ever getting their fat asses up and actually trying to make a difference in our country. it's easy enough to sit back behind a computer screen when you're hunkered down in decatur, isn't it, but it's a lot fucking harder to walk down to your recruiting station and actually try to make a change. not that i'm recommending that to anyone.

so these meetings ended. i ended up having to run my stuff through a censor, who would highlight shit i had to take out. i grew tired of this and stopped posting. it got old, and i was tired of meetings.

so iraq ended. i came home, sought counseling and got medicated, and things were fine. i started writing this blog because i needed some form of therapy that the army wasn't giving me and still isn't giving me. life moved on, we got a new chain of command, and things were looking up. i'm up for promotion, etc. you get the drill.

so today i find out that they're contemplating opsec violation charges against me for my OLD blog. nevermind the fact that these motherfuckers were NOT HERE when it occurred; none of the people in my current chain of command, or COC, were here when all those meetings went down the last time. so what fucking right, if you don't mind me asking, do they have to bring shit like that up? they don't. they have no fucking right. they can't give me a counseling statement, they can't do shit, and i'm going to JAG tomorrow and raising hell. i am tired of having my rights impeded on just because the army is old fashioned and refuses to change because they can't see the forest for the trees.

i'm done. bedtime.

Blogger mauser*girl said...

This really doesn't make sense.

Firstly, because when you had your blog and they censored it, they let you keep writing - albeit censored. Any OPSEC violations they want to claim after that, they need to be talking to their censor, since they've let you continue writing.

Secondly, you no longer have that blog. Did you erase it? If so, if it's gone, what does it matter NOW?

Go to JAG and see if they can do anything, although they won't be able to until actual charges are filed as far as I know. You may also want to try your IG on this one.  

Anonymous soldier, Infantry said...

Brother, read a lot of your blogs. A lot of real intelligent thoughts and was tracking with most. But got to the one where you're trashing officers because you're getting brought up on charges or whatever... Couple of questions for you. How many officers are dying with THEIR SOLDIERS in Iraq today- a lot. A lot of officers, who like their soldiers, deserve better but are walking point doing their job and giving their lives doing it. Got the frustration piece, with you being investigated, etc. But it's crap when you start the historical cop out argument that "those dick head officers are fucking the enlisted man" because you know that's bullshit. Any platoon leader/ company commander/ BN S3/ BN Commander in theater gives a shit about every soldier in his unit and lives with the pain of every soldier he loses for the rest of his life- no shit. Using good men as a scapegoat for your personal problems is weak shit. I've read your stuff, you are way too intelligent to sink to that level. Remember the Ranger Creed "I will never allow a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy" and "I will never do ANYTHING to embarrass my country" we bled for you whether we knew you or not, don't let another soldier (NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OFFICER, WARRANT, NCO, OR ENLISTED- ALL SOLDIERS) bleed in public because of your personal vendettas. Duty first.
- soldier, US Army Infantry  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gotta know your MOS, unit, and how many funerals you attended where you had to present the colors to the parents of our fallen brothers. Really, it's starting to bug me already. I also want to know how many officer's funerals you've been to, how many officer's parents/families you've have to meet and explain that their son was killed, why, and perform honors for him at the funeral... "Too smart for us, too good for us... fucking crap to win sympathy....how does a soldier lose basic values like Loyalty, Honor, Selfless Service, Integrity. Can't remember the Army implementing the "It's OK to be a whining bitch and fuck your buddies because you think you're getting a raw deal" program. but you're bright, so I guess If it's good with you, it must be the right answer. Your call, what are you going to do? (oh, and you don't have to make any decision in the next 60 seconds under mortar fire or with an IED strike that jacked 7 of your boys with a possible 2nd strike incoming... you have all the time in the world. - Infantry soldier, pissed off  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enlisted men have been bitching about officers since the begining of the military. It's a class thing. GET OVER IT!  

Anonymous Civilian said...

Yeah-enlisted vs officer may be a class thing, but since today many enlisted are as educated as officers are, a lot of the bullshit stratification goes out the window. It ain't like it was in the 1800's. When in a foxhole, even I, a civilian, know that rank doesn't mean that much. I DO think the enlisted deserve more prestige, and money. Sgts. run the army, and enlisteds do most of the fighting and dying. Rank doesn't mean much when (and I hope it's WHEN not IF) you're all home and in a PTSD counseling session, (services which need to be expanded in VA's)  

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